The Dirty Chronicles

   We didn’t stay in Austin too long when I got back. I had liked Chi town (Chicago) so I wanted to go back. We were back on the highway and going the same route I had just done. We stopped in Kansas city and St. Louis for a night, but those cities suck, so we didn’t stick around.   A few interesting things happened to me this time in Chi town. I had a t-shirt that I had stolen from OPP that said “OPP inmate” on the front of it. I really liked it as it was my souvenir from New Orleans. Another souvenir I wish I could have had was the pair of handcuffs I slipped out of. Imagine, a pair of sawed off fuckin handcuffs, fuck you and your ‘I love New Orleans’ shirt!!   Anyway, one afternoon this guy that was working at a convenience store started to hit on Syd, so I walked in there and told him to fuck off. Later that night, I went back there to get some smokes or something and he fuckin’ leaped over the counter and smashed me in the back of the head three times ...

     Well, I jumped on the highway and planned to get to Austin as fast as I could. I had really good luck. I think it took me less than two days to make it all the way to Austin. I was somewhere in Missouri (AKA Misery) on the interstate, for God knows how long, when I decided I needed a break and some fuckin water - I was hot as fuck. But when I was walking off the highway I heard a big truck slam on his breaks. I turned around and saw that he had pulled over to the side of the road, so I turn around and make a B-line for the truck, praying that he had pulled over for me.   Over the years, I found more so than often, when you’re on the highway for a really long time, if you take a break and then come back, you usually will get a ride. I don’t know, it worked for me  a bunch of times in 20 odd years of hitch-hiking. So I get to the truck, open the door, and I see this really fat trucker with long hair. He was dirty as fuck and was looking at me and asking ...

  Another reason I hated Florida was because it was so fuckin’ hard to hitch-hike. I believe the reason for this would probably be because of all the old people. We ended up getting stuck in this little town, not too far from the Georgia state line for three days. It sucked, but at least we were making really good money. I think we stayed in a hotel every night we were there, and had plenty of Natty Ice to go with it.   I remember the second or third day we were on that fuckin’ on-ramp, a car finally pulled over. We were so happy until we got up to the car and saw it was two old people. They tell us they can’t give us a ride but they can help us out. They gave us 20 bucks, so that was really nice, but we were kind of pissed because we wanted to get the fuck out of there. I ended up going to a gas station to get water or something and I saw a guy pumping gas that I thought might give us a ride, so I walked over to him and asked him where he was going. He told me he was hea...

  Another reason I hated Florida was because it was so fuckin’ hard to hitch-hike. I believe the reason for this would probably be because of all the old people. We ended up getting stuck in this little town, not too far from the Georgia state line for three days. It sucked, but at least we were making really good money. I think we stayed in a hotel every night we were there, and had plenty of Natty Ice to go with it.   I remember the second or third day we were on that fuckin’ on-ramp, a car finally pulled over. We were so happy until we got up to the car and saw it was two old people. They tell us they can’t give us a ride but they can help us out. They gave us 20 bucks, so that was really nice, but we were kind of pissed because we wanted to get the fuck out of there. I ended up going to a gas station to get water or something and I saw a guy pumping gas that I thought might give us a ride, so I walked over to him and asked him where he was going. He told me he was hea...

     So after that we were on the next city bus out of there. The next states over were Mississippi and Alabama, but we had no desire to stop in either state. We made it to Jacksonville, Florida no more than a day after we left the big easy. Florida, now how can I describe this shit hole of a state? Let’s say the whole state is nothing but rich tourists, rich old retired people, rich fags and ghettos. There, you have the state of Florida.   We were in Jacksonville for a day or two and I got ripped off, for crack, the first night we were there. I saw the guy the next night, and we almost got into a fight but he ended up getting me my shit.why almost ate him and I should have let her. One really good thing that happened in Jacksonville was that when we were leaving town we ran into a couple army brats that were driving down to a place called Hollywood Beach, which was not far from Miami. We were headed to Key West, so that was a good haul. They ended up giving the...

    Well we were getting tired of shooting crack every day in Austin so we decided we were going to head to New Orleans. We had to jump back on the I-35 south to go back to San Antonio so we could get back on I-10. We’d stopped in San Antonio, on the way to Austin and on the way back, but just for a minute.I don’t remember much about there from those times except I thought it was a really nice city with the river with the river running through downtown and also seeing the Alamo and thinking about that movie Pee Wee’s big adventure.   Fuck! Texas was huge. I’m not sure how long it took us to get to Houston. Maybe a day or so. We stopped for the day in Houston.This city has a weird vibe and it was kind of scary there. It probably took us another day or so to get to New Orleans. I had heard nothing about this city and thought it was just another normal city. Little did I know!   It was one day before Halloween ‘97 when I stepped foot in the French Quarter...

     After a couple weeks in L.A. we decided we were going to head to Tucson, Arizona. We hopped on a city bus downtown, to where we could catch a commuter train out to San Bernardino and start hitch hiking. To get on a city bus and the commuter trains was a pain in the ass for us because of the dog. We had to put her in a sleeping bag in order to get on a bus or commuter train, and Why hated to be stuck in there. What dog would? Why was I about six years old back then. She was a dingo husky mix with one brown eye and the other one blue and she weighed about 70 pounds. Why was the shit! She was well behaved and cute as hell, too.   People always give street kids shit for having a dog on the street, but I’ll tell you right now that a street dig is the happiest dig on earth. Granted, some assholes don’t get it and will neglect and beat the poor things, which if it were to be the case, someone would take the dog from them. They always have more than enough food bec...

  He was going to Anaheim, which is just south of L.A. so when I got there I had to take a two hour ride back north into Hollywood.I found Syd and Lance on Hollywood Boulevard, and I was super happy that I was really in L.A. I couldn’t believe I was really there.   Just before we had shown up there had been a big squat fire that killed a kid that Syd had known. It was either set by skinheads or the other theory was that he had left candles burning. Syd and I ran into the dead guy’s sister in Montreal a couple years later which was weird. She started to preach to us about leaving candles lit and passing out.   Hollywood wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be, I thought. If you had money it would be different. We couldn’t sit on the boulevard and pan because it was illegal. They had what we called the green shirts, they were a bunch of retired L.A.P.D that walked around and harassed the street kids and gave us tickets.  They were fuckin dicks!   On...