HAMMERS, GOLF CLUBS AND WHISKEY
We didn’t stay in Austin too long when I got back. I had liked Chi town (Chicago) so I wanted to go back. We were back on the highway and going the same route I had just done. We stopped in Kansas city and St. Louis for a night, but those cities suck, so we didn’t stick around.
A few interesting things happened to me this time in Chi town. I had a t-shirt that I had stolen from OPP that said “OPP inmate” on the front of it. I really liked it as it was my souvenir from New Orleans. Another souvenir I wish I could have had was the pair of handcuffs I slipped out of. Imagine, a pair of sawed off fuckin handcuffs, fuck you and your ‘I love New Orleans’ shirt!!
Anyway, one afternoon this guy that was working at a convenience store started to hit on Syd, so I walked in there and told him to fuck off. Later that night, I went back there to get some smokes or something and he fuckin’ leaped over the counter and smashed me in the back of the head three times with a hammer and split my head wide open. The cops and ambulance showed up and asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and if I wanted to press charges. I told them all to fuck off. I wanted to go drink. My head would be okay. I was pissed because I had to throw my O.P.P shirt in the garbage because it was soaked with my blood.
The next day, this kid that we knew found a golf club and brought it to me so that I could go back and fuck that dude up with it. I remember having my walkman with me with Metallica’s Justice For All album that i was listening to, to get pumped up to go fuck buddy up, all while I was drinking some fuckin whisky.
We were pushing around a shopping cart at the time with all our gear in it and the golf club. So we are there having a time, drinking our 60oz, when this black crackhead that was also hitting on Syd, that I didn’t like, came up to us and asked me if he could have a drink off our 60. “Fuck no,” I said! So I turn around and finish talking to whoever I was talking to and out of the corner of my eye I see him with my fuckin bottle in his mouth. Wham! Ii fuckin dropped him like a tone of bricks. I should have kept pounding on him, because when he got up he grabbed the golf club out of the shopping cart and smoked me in the back with it. I also had a skateboard in there, so I grabbed that, and we squared off. Nothing happened,and I wasn’t going to be the one to advance, but if I had the club it would be a different story. I never did get tha fucker from the store, but I was hit with a hammer and a golf club two consecutive days in a row.
Those weren’t the only times I got in a fight there because of some guy hitting on Syd. This big black guy that we were hanging out with that really liked her tried to kiss her one day when I wasn’t there, so I punched him for it. He had a few of his buddies with him when I punched him so they ended up jumping me and maced me as well. That was the first time I had been maced.
A couple other things happened to me too. I shit out my first crack rock one day. I had just bought a five piece and put it in my mouth to go around the corner in the alley to take a piss. When I came back out, there was a cop there. So he takes me in for disorderly conduct. I swallowed the rock and shit it out a couple days later and smoked it - now that’s CRACK! I ended up going to jail a couple times while there for stupid shit like panhandling or being on the subway without a ticket. I never made it to Cook County, thank fuck, that place didn’t sound like fun. For bullshit like this they would take you to the cop shop, stick you in the cell for ten hours and let you go with a ticket. It sucked, because I would always end up being boose sick. This next story was pretty funny. We were down on the lake drinking switch this kid one day and three trannies decided they were going to hang out with us. ALright they were actually fuckin hilarious. They were hanging out with their tits flapping in the wind. The guy we had just met let one of them give him a hand job and all this is going down while there was a police boat on the lake yelling at these he-shes to put their tits away on the loudspeaker. HA!
There were some kids that showed up in town; my buddy Black Henry and some of his boys. One night we were all sitting on this deck and the cops showed up with their guns out and were threatening to shoot all the dogs that were there. Fuckin dicks! Years later, a buddy of mine was woken up by a Montreal cop and his dog started barking at the cop so he fuckin shot her. Fucked up, man!
We wanted to head to N.Y.C but heard Lance and a bunch of his friends were there so we decided to head over to Michigan instead.
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