MICHIGAN & MID WEST

  Syd heard about this little college town called Ann Arbor, so we decided to go there. We had a really good timethere for the few days we stayed and the people were really nice and generous. The only thing that really sticks out in my mind from there was that this guy took us to a restaurant and told us he would pay for the meal but by the time the check showed up he was nowhere to be found. I was pissed at first; I thought we were going to get in shit for it. We had this really cute waitress that was serving us so we had to explain to her that this guy told us he was going to pay for us but he ran off. I’m glad she believed us. We felt really bad for her, she was almost in tears telling us that she was going to have to pay for it now. We had some money on us and paid half of the bill. I went looking fo the guy and was going to fuck him up, but I didn’t find him.

  We decided to head to Columbus, Ohio which wasn’t too far south west from Ann Arbor. So it was a short journey. Columbus was another college town, but when we were there that time school was out for summer, so it was harder for us to make money. We ended up staying with a couple of kids we had met. That had a house right off High Street.

  This was the cheapest place I’d ever been at to buy beer. We were getting 40oz of King cobra for $1.05 out the fuckin door. It was amazing! Last time I was there they went up to $1.25. That was probably in 2002 or around there.

  

  One night, we were all drinking on buddy’s porch with about five dogs when the owners of the upstairs apartment came home and they had to pass us to get to their apartment. Well if you have ever noticed - a lot of blacks are scared of dogs. So they all start freaking the fuck out. One of the guys we were hanging out with pushed one of the women, or something like that, and another lady grabbed my backpack out of my shopping cart. I went to grab it out of her hands and the kid that pushed the woman took off and ended up getting beat down with a brick, or so the story went. I don’t know, I was not there but I guess we had to go to the hospital.

  So the next day, we decided to have a beer and barbecue on the porch, since they had a little grill. It was Syd, this dude, Sean, and I. Everything was all good. We were frying burgers up and drinking a 40oz when five gangster looking motherfuckers come up onto the porch with a couple really cute pitbull pups. We start talking and petting the pups for a minute or so, then they go upstairs and come back down with one of the girls from the night before, fuck! So the big fat fuck asks her “which one?” she pointed at me and said, “him.” So he goes to grab an empty 40oz off the ledge, but by this point, I know what’s up, so I jump over the ledge, avoiding this bottle that was about to come down on my fuckin head. That didn’t help. There were five of them and they were soon on me like flies on shit! To make matters worse, three people  from across the street come running over and joined in on the boot party. I guess there were already problems with people across the street and the people we were staying with.

  That was the first time I had ever been dropped by a single punch. After, the bunch of them decided to get out of there. Before the police got there, this one guy started throwing lefts and rights and knocked me on my ass. It was also the first time I had my nose broke. The cops ended up showing up like ten minutes later, wanting me to write a statement, but of course I politely told them to fuck off. I was pissed because those fucks totally ruined my appetite. I love BBQ hamburgers and it’s not too often you get to eat BBQ when you’re a homeless fuck!

  Right after all this happened, a guy named Trent showed up with a van, so we talked him into driving us to Denver. We left a couple days later. We went up to Indianapolis, Indiana where we spent a couple days hanging out in a part of town called Broad Ripple, but it sucked so we got on our way to Denver. We were stopping at gas stations where we would ask people for money and gas and food, which worked really well. We had a couple people fill the tank for us. There are some really good people out there, even if they are hard to find sometimes. We were at this truck stop doing this in butt fuck Kansas, when out of nowhere the cops show up and throw me in cuffs, telling me I’m under arrest for strong armed robbery! What! For asking people for change, politely? Fuckin States, man. So they bust my chops for about half an hour and then they finally came to their senses and let me go. I thought I was fucked, with a capital F for felony!

  Trent was letting me drive, which was awesome because I loved it. Obviously, since I was stealing my dad’s car at the age of twelve! IfI ever do settle down and get a job, it will be as a truck driver. I love to travel, drive, listen to loud ass fuck HEAVEY METAL, pick up hitch-hikers, and get paid. Fuck yeah! So anyway just before the Colorado state line, at like one in the morning it started to pour rain - like, pour! I couldn’t see an inch out the window, so I pulled over and wake Trent up and tell him to drive. If the van got totaled, it was not going to be on my head! So he pulls off the first exit we see and we find a farmer’s driveway to park for the night. Man, we were really freaking out, we thought we were going to be swiped away in a fuckin tornado. I mena, hey, we were smack dab center in tornado alley. Well luckily that didn’t happen and we made it to Denver later that day. I have only seen that kind of rain twice, once in Florida as well, but I mean - wow it was really coming down!

  So here we are back in the Rocky Mountains in Denver hanging out at the 16th street mall, downtown. Well I wasn’t there for more than three days before I ended up in jail for public intoxication. When I got out after three days, I went right back for another three! It seemed I had made a new friend, which happened to be a cop with the gayest handle bar mustache that looked stupid as fuck, but he had a hard on for me, so we had to hang out in a different part of town.

  We had met a guy named Burt and his girlfriend, who I don’t remember what her name was but we started to hang out and get drunk all the time together which was fun. One day, we were passing by a concert hall and fuckin Slayer was playing so we stopped to see if we could bum a ticket. Well, Burt ended up getting one kicked down and ended up giving it to me because my birthday was coming up in a day or so. That was cool of him. It ended up sucking really bad because I was booze sick. It was a Sunday, so at the time in the state of Colorado you could not buy any alcohol over 3.2%, which was like water to an alcoholic. We had been drinking all day, but I still felt like shit. I ended up leaving after a few songs to go drink more.