BACK TO OTTAWA AND BEYOND

 BACK TO OTTAWA AND BEYOND


Baja gave Todd and me a ride to the highway so we could hitch to Ottawa. When we got there I ran into this guy I knew from Toronto, Big Dan. He was an older guy, probably Todd’s age. He had just recently got out of prison after serving 10 years for a bank job. We would hang out under the Terry Fox bridge and harass all the tourists, yelling at them and rolling our empty 40s of beer at them. “Welcome to Ottawa, Fuckers!” We would say. It’s a wonder we didn’t get arrested.

  We used to go to a punk bar in downtown they called “The Market '' and pick up chicks. Man, did I ever get laid while I was there. A different girl almost every night, it was wicked. I also had my first squirter wholly fuck it was like being in a swimming pool fuckin’ that girl!

  One night I was coming back from the bar by myself when I noticed a really, and I mean REALLY hot girl. Like hot as in ‘I would eat corn out of her shit just to say I had dinner with her’ hot. She was stopped at the red light with her window down, so I walked over and asked her if she could give me a ride home. Not thinking, in a million years, she would say “get in” but what do you know? So she’s like “where do you live?” I tell her “In the park up the road”  hahah! So she gives me a ride up there and when we get there she asks me if I mind if she hangs out with me. Fuck, no, I don’t mind! Anyway, before you know it I’m finger banging this chick, sticking my tongue down her throat but she won’t fuck me but I’ll take it.

  So the day after, I’m making money and who pulls up to the red light? Fuckin’ her. I had just done a big blast of crack so I was super paranoid and she asks me if I remember her but I say “no” and keep walking. Man what a fool I am. I felt like an idiot when I came down. I never did see her again, but always think about it and what it would have been like to fuck her silly. That girl was seriously hot, FUCK!

  I met this cute punk chick, Morgan, and we started talking about hitchhiking out to Vancouver, BC together. Those kids I had been in the squat fire with, Lance and his girlfriend Syd, were supposed to be out there.. So we decided to hit the road a week or so late.

  Baja had shown up, for a reason I don’t remember, but when I saw her on Rideau st I had some PCP and I asked her if she wanted a line. Sure, she’ll take one! Now keep in mind this is a 55 year-old broad. Well, she got super fucked up. It was funny watching her hide under bus benches, falling everywhere, running into everything.

  We ended up getting bus tickets back to Montreal for some reason. I was pissed when I sobered up and I was back in Montreal but it wasn’t a big deal. Ottawa is only two hours away so I was back there in a day or so.

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